Why you should never get a tattoo ( but have a lot of babies instead)

When I have some free time I like to read dozens of blogs, while the rest of the time I barely check up on my own Website. I was at it today when I found this website written by a mother (The Ugly Volvo) that even though she doesn’t have any tattoo on her, she has a pretty good understanding of the classical cliché, critical comments that people make on others who express their interest in getting a tattoo.

And now I present you with a number of reasons why, according to moms in general, you should never get a tattoo; but hey, there’s nothing wrong with having babies, right?

Hacerte un tatuaje no es una mala idea

1. “A tattoo is forever”

  1. “A tattoo is forever”

That’s right, tattoos are for life, with the exception that nowadays, if you happened to need to, you could get the tattoo removed with laser.

Some readers may have immediately thought “I’m sick and tired of being a parent, don’t we have some kind of laser to temporarily erase our 3-year-old child? Ups, It doesn’t yet exist, and it may not be the best kind of thought that can come across a responsible, loving couple, but… let’s not ponder over it, ok?

Hacerte un tatuaje no es una mala idea

2. “People will always judge you”

Of course they will: You’re a terrible father! You’re a terrible mother! –Why are you ___________(any kind of activity you do with your child) ? And of course, the negative version of it, Why aren’t you___________ (anything you don’t do with your child) ? Pleasing everybody is a very difficult task and everybody will pass judgment on your every decision about how you decide to educate and take care of your child, and while they do, they will not notice the tattoo on you forearm that says, in Chinese characters, “Peace”.

(That’s not the Chinese symbol that refers to peace, may I be struck dead if somebody else uses this picture as reference)

 

Hacerte un tatuaje no es lo peor que podrías hacer 3

3. “Having a tattoo will limit the types of job you can get”

This is the main reason for our mothers, and even more so for single mothers. Having a tattoo will make many employers reticent to hire you despite your plenty of skills and aptitudes, and they will justify their actions based on any kind of excuse. Nowadays, the job market continues to be as naïve as years earlier, to the point that the prefer to hire male workers, as they are “more reliable” than women.

And of course, a person without tattoos is more reliable than a person with tattoos, right?

 

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4. “A tattoo will ruin  your body”

Will it?  Everything depends on your tattoo choice and where you’re going to put it on. What it does ruin your body is carrying another human being inside you for most part of a year, bring it into the world and finally try to breast-feed him/her. And don’t forget about all the years ahead of continuous stress that will entail nurturing this child into adulthood. Just let me know if that ruins your body worse than a butterfly, a dragonfly or a dolphin in the middle of your back.

 

Hacerte un tatuaje no es una mala idea

5. “It will be more expensive than you can imagine”

It will be REALLY expensive. It will be really expensive no doubt, and it will be even more difficult to carry this tattoo while at university, so you’d better start saving up for your tattoo (or baby).

Hacerte un tatuaje no es una mala idea

6. “You don’t know whether the procedure is safe or hygienic, and you don’t know if it will hurt, do you?”

Surely, delivering a child can be summed up in the word “cleanliness” and “safety”. And we should also include “It won’t hurt”.

Hacerte un tatuaje no es una mala idea

7.”You think you want to have one, but you haven’t actually thought it over thought it over thoroughly enough”

No, I didn’t. I won’t try to justify this.

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8. “The idea excites you right now, but how are you going to feel about it 15 years from now?”

You are right mom, in 15 years I will want to get rid of it.

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9. “Do you really want one? I think you want one just because everybody has one …”

From a quick glance at my Facebook feed I’d say: of course, everybody has one. Can’t people just have one because they just want one? Apparently , no , no and no. It must be because of the social pressure Facebook exerts on me, like the way it entices me into playing Candy Crush everyday.

Hacerte un tatuaje no es una mala idea

10. “You think you’ll look cool with a tattoo, but in reality you will give a really bad impression.”

My mom wouldn’t use the word cool, but it sounds funny to picture her saying it. Surely, we will look properly good as parents yelling  “DON’T EAT THAT BUG!!”, while all our hair and clothes are covered in porridge.

Please, somebody save us from our terrible decisions.

For all those who have been looked down “for any reason”, and with all the love I have for my mom who doesn’t like my tattoos (but who loves my anyway).

 

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